Bianca Poletti – The Romantics

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It could all have been so beautiful. Two neighbours, both lonely, both obsessed by amour, both read a book titled How to fall in love like the movies

“I am worthy of my Harry,” declames the woman, “I’m worthy of my Sally,” recites the man. 

With sharp dialogue written by Rebecca LeighBianca Poletti’s The Romantics trades in amusingly awks exchanges when the couple meet at their doorways:

Him: Hi!
Her: Good thanks. 

Then, when she nearly sets her apartment on fire with a toaster malfunction, he comes to the rescue, dampening the flames but lighting a spark and a possible smouldering, that leads to the first date – a shared take-out meal round at his. 

But barely have they got through the first course, when the path to true love appears to be littered with potholes. His food offerings, and then his pet cat, set off her staggering range of allergies. Turns out she’s allergic to most things, including soup. 

His polite doubting of ‘soup allergy’ is matched by her dismay at his vegetarianism. Does he think she’s selfish for eating meat? 

A last-ditch effort to change the subject leads them both stumbling into their opposing views on having kids, at which point the futility of their dinner date becomes apparent. 

This take-out won’t lead to no make-out.