What brands can learn from my gender-fluid 17 year-old daughter

“Don’t BS us!” That’s the main message my gender-fluid daughter and her friends want brands to take on board. They are a mixed bunch of teenagers, non-binary, transgender and heterosexual. But none of them are loyal to any brand, let alone gender-specifics – and they resent brands trying to mess with their core message just to appeal to them. 

“Where is the message for young women to be empowered? It’s like they gave up who they were just to fit in.” 

This is a generation where gender fluidity is becoming the norm for many. Fifty percent of Gen Z believes that gender norms are outdated. They are the children of Generation X, so they don’t pull any punches. These kids are organised and smart. They have strong perceptions of brands and call them out for being disingenuous. 

But in talking to these consumers, many brands take the wrong approach. In their attempt to be inclusive, they miss the mark. Take Always, for example. It used to be about strong girls, under its #LikeAGirl campaign, and now it’s for ‘people that menstruate’. While it made some positive headlines around inclusivity, for my daughter’s transgender friend Terry this is too much of an overt play: “Where is the message for young women to be empowered? It’s like they gave up who they were just to fit in.” 

#LikeAGirl Unstoppable, Always.

Brands would do well to talk and listen more closely to these young people. Where millennials mobilised and wanted to see more around sustainability, Generation Z is wading wholeheartedly into the political arena. As my non-binary daughter, who identifies as Milo and Mia, says, “Meet us where we are. Listen to us, don’t talk at us. Our realities are completely different [to what you imagine]”.

From my own experience and the straw poll of my daughters’ friends, there are some key areas that brands need to tackle head-on if they stand any chance of connecting to this generation.

Talk to me authentically

Gen Z doesn’t expect every brand to offer a fluid range – rather, leaning into gender fluidity often comes down to messaging. Like any brand entering culture, those looking to connect with this audience need to identify their ownable angle that goes beyond jumping on the bandwagon. 

The Gen Z consumer can sniff out a brand that tackles social issues just to boost the bottom line.

Always’ insistence on ‘people that menstruate’ seems a forced way of tapping into the woke conversation. Or Chanel creating a foundation dedicated for men, the Boy de Chanel. This is so wrong – why should makeup be gendered? It also featured all black packaging, screaming of ‘masculine versus feminine’ stereotypes.

Boy de Chanel poses the question, 'why should makeup be gendered?'.

Brands need to apply their own lens to how they speak to the consumer – authentically and in a way that is not exclusive. If a brand is genuine about it, it could reach a whole new customer base. Thinx is a great example of an underwear brand that is disrupting the status quo, by opening the conversation around periods to all, through innovative campaigns and messaging, rather than feeling the need to adapt their language away from what is still a female issue. 

True inclusivity can also only come about if brands cast off some of the tired ways of categorising their users.

Being committed and authentic also comes with giving back. Brands need to financially support communities. For example, Milk Makeup champions ‘beauty for all’ and has launched gender fluid campaigns. But crucially, it also donates to LGBTQIA+ communities. The Gen Z consumer can sniff out a brand that tackles social issues just to boost the bottom line. So, giving back is a way to be more credible.
 

Easy To Use Teen Period Underwear by Thinx.

Stop categorising me

True inclusivity can also only come about if brands cast off some of the tired ways of categorising their users. Gen Z-ers live in an era of open-mindedness, body acceptance and individuality; they actively fight against categories and need a more open, accepting sense of what it means to be a person (and a shopper). Slapping pink onto a DIY tools range just won’t cut it – brands need to be more discerning.

The gender spectrum should be anything but beige when it comes to visuals and aesthetics

When it comes to speaking to the range of gender expression among young people, it’s not about the necessity to create something neutral. It’s about readdressing girls versus boys, or men against women as a sliding scale from masculinity to femininity and everything in between – “I use brands based on need, not gender”, as my daughter’s non-binary friend Sam puts it. 

Recently, we have seen the likes of Parade introduce ‘Gender Expansive’ underwear, and Fluide launched its ‘Themme Fatale’ palette to further exemplify its core identity of being a beauty brand for all skin tones and gender expressions.

The 'Themme Fatale' palette, from the non-binary beauty brand, The Fluide Project.

Don’t revert to beige

Equally, a brand offering that wants to be inclusive and recognise the gender spectrum should be anything but beige when it comes to visuals and aesthetics. Mia/Milo prefers a pick-and-mix of bold make-up, Old Spice scent, a floral dress one day and buttoned up shirt and high tops another. Falling in the fluid category doesn’t equate to neutral. 

The more you listen to this generation and the better you understand them, the easier you will find building a lasting relationship with this consumer of the future. 

In a similar vein, attempting to offer gender-fluid options shouldn’t mean reverting to comfort. For example, many fashion brands trying to appeal to this consumer basically just offer hoodies and sweatpants. But neutral doesn’t have to mean ‘comfort’ and being understated. It can just as easily mean eccentric dresses, heels and accessories.