Greenpeace reveals just how much a turkey gobbles

“You’re dull, you’re pasty white and you’re impossible to get rid of. You’re basically the Piers Morgan of Christmas lunch,” so joshes a jester in a bird suit giving a spud a roasting in Greenpeaces's alternative festive ad. 

The turkey's adversary, a comic dressed as a plucky potato, remains unmashed however, telling the audience at the dingy comedy club that, “They have to cut down so many trees to grow his food he may as well have got here in a Hummer powered by hairspray and cow farts and the broken dreams of Greta Thunberg.”

As the mood dips, the spud continues, “if the planet carries on heating up at this rate we’ll all be getting roasted.” The ultimate, unfunny message of The Ultimate Comedy Roast, directed by Matt Cooper, through Villager Films, is that eating meat leads to deforestation, which is leading to global warming.

Turkey’s gobble up soya feed that is usually grown on deforested land in South America. In fact, two thirds of the UK’s soya is imported from South America and more than half of it is fed to poultry. 

Greenpeace UK estimates that an area of land the size of Glasgow would be needed to grow enough soya to fatten the 10 million turkeys Brits eat every Christmas. 

Chiara Vitali, Forest Campaigner at Greenpeace UK, said: “The factory farms fattening turkeys for Christmas will know the feed they use is linked to forest destruction. Supermarkets do, too. Do you really want your roast with all those forest trimmings?”