The masculinity paradox: How Baby Reindeer highlighted the media’s relationship with men

Certain content sparks a cultural conversation. During Covid we all went mad for Tiger King. Last year, it was the collective power of Barbenheimer. And, although the year’s not out, I think it’s safe to say 2024 will be about Baby Reindeer. 

Richard Gadd’s black comedy-drama has taken the world by storm, racking up 65m viewers on Netflix. The true story of how a woman stalked a male standup comedian over four years has captivated audiences with its emotionally raw drama and incredibly personal depiction of complex topics, including sexual abuse, crisis of masculinity and post-traumatic stress disorder. 

Richard Gadd’s black comedy-drama has taken the world by storm.

The show has become a call to action for men to examine traditional depictions of masculinity and the intricacies of sexuality… and it’s working. In the two weeks following the release, male sexual abuse charities saw a staggering 80% increase in first-time callers, with 53% of people citing the show as their reason for calling. 

Above: Scottish writer, actor and comedian, Richard Gadd, who created and starred in the 2024 Netflix drama series Baby Reindeer which was based on his one-man show and his real-life experience. 

Huge media moments like these prompt questions in our industry about how we are speaking to men. Specifically, how can we raise awareness of these kinds of issues in a way that’s authentic, non-exploitative and genuinely contributes towards positive change? 

The depiction of men needs to change 

The theme of success is a cornerstone of Baby Reindeer’s plot. Gadd’s protagonist is driven by the idea of being a successful standup comedian. But this need for fame and recognition often leads him into harmful situations. 

Men are realising there’s a disconnect between what they want and what they’re told they want.

This perception of what makes men successful has also been challenged in advertising. Male depictions were traditionally anchored in 20th-century pop culture (see James Bond’s popularisation of fast cars and beautiful women). Modern media tends to idealise new business tech icons like Elon Musk, and emphasises overnight social media fame. But men are realising there’s a disconnect between what they want and what they’re told they want, and this is damaging their health and wellbeing. 

Brands in luxury, cosmetics, fashion and automotive spaces still talk to men with messaging centred on respect, power and wealth. But we live in uncertain times and, as Gadd's character discovers in Baby Reindeer, fame and respect do not equate to happiness or peace. Success - or what men have been raised to think of as success - does not always have that effect. 

So, how can we approach breaking this cycle of unrealistic expectations?

Above: For many, the depiction of 'maleness' emanated from fictional figures such as James Bond and his love of fast cars and beautiful women.

Calling men in 

Advertising needs to show other, non-conformist depictions of men. In Baby Reindeer (and also in Gadd’s real life) the character’s questioning of himself pushes against traditional masculine archetypes as he learns to become more comfortable with himself and who he wants to be. 

This kind of messaging is a powerful tool for deconstructing the stereotypes of masculinity in media. BBD Perfect Storm worked with Ruffles on a campaign in Mexico [below]against gender-based violence. Ruffles partnered with two charities to create an advert illustrating that this violence often stems from men’s experiences at a young age. It subsequently encouraged men to open up by showing their compatriots engaging in conversations. The ad says that, equally as important as calling men out for misbehaviours, is calling them in to be part of the solution in an aspirational way. 

Advertising needs to show other, non-conformist depictions of men.

Despite just launching, calls to the charities increased by 112%, with more than 50% of calls mentioning the campaign. These are real people breaking the cycle of violence in their lives and those around them because they were given positive examples of improvement they can aspire to achieve. 

Above: BBD Perfect Storm's campaign for Ruffles showed how violence often stems from events experienced at a younger age. 

Speak cross-generationally 

Campaigns like the Ruffles one show the power of influencing younger men. But it’s crucial to speak to all ages. One of the things that stood out to me in Baby Reindeer wasn’t just the central drama involving the stalker but, in the relationship between the protagonist and his father, a space is created where the older man can open up about his own sexual abuse and trauma.

There can be real issues of older or middle-aged men achieving ‘success’ only to feel lost or unsure where to go.

Speaking to these older audiences is just as important as influencing younger generations. There can be real issues of older or middle-aged men achieving ‘success’ only to feel lost or unsure where to go. Or worse, they bury issues under symbols of 'manliness', just as the protagonist’s father does. This is a reality advertising needs to reflect. For example, Glenfiddich’s campaign The Stag [below] asks the question ‘Where Next?’ by exploring visually the idea of a stag’s antlers. 

The ad's position is that we need to embrace uncertainty, not hold onto success and, instead, focus on finding meaning. This kind of messaging can speak to men of all ages and show the pursuit of surface-level traits can be damaging.