Christmas ads: a music supervisor’s perspective

ASDA 

Seems that a lot of the Holiday ads this year (save for JD sports, see below) are aimed at me/my demographic, ie Gen X, a kid from the 1980s. This one in particular; average Dad joke repeatedly rinsed (once in French) within an inch of its pallid life plus iconic 80s TV theme tune from none other than The A-Team! Look it up kids, it was cool way back then.  

No schmaltzy re-record though which is a bonus… oh wait no. Driving Gnome For Christmas, by Chris Rea possibly performed by a 1980s cruise ship singer caps this off.  

Looks great, works well.  

It won’t ever snow that much in this country again.  

I still don’t want to shop at ASDA. 

JD SPORTS 

I like this even though it’s aimed strictly at Gen Z, produced strictly by Gen Xers and early millennials. It’s cool, it’s warm (yes, both), it's inclusive, it features loads of people in sportswear, not doing sports.  

Interesting that the soundtrack from Jamie XX's Wanna features a huge sample of a 90s UKG banger Never Let You Go by Tina Moore, suggesting that any purely original modern pop music is all shite and we must rely on 20 year old plus soundtracks to resonate with the kids. JD did a very similar thing last year as it happens

I’d put money on the fact that the original script required Cench to ‘perform’ rather more than what we actually get from him - stepping out of his extraordinarily expensive trailer to make hand gestures? And while his own musical output does seriously put a question mark on what-actually-the-fuck is wrong with young people’s ears[?], he may well have been a more shrewd musical choice for this.   

JOHN LEWIS 

E.B. White once said something like “Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand the joke better but the frog dies.”  

Is that the same for adverts?  

After a few careful viewings I eventually worked it out. But how many of the less intelligent viewers will intentionally watch it more than once? A shame, as repeat viewings allow a better appreciation of the craft on show here.  

As all you ad-fans know, this is the final episode in a series of the ads from John Lewis. That one with the pink jumper though… seen that? Absolutely no fucking idea whatsoever and I’ve watched it fourteen and half times.  

Back to Narniafest… Richard Ashcroft supplies the soundtrack with his own 2021 version of Sonnet, not to be confused with the very similar original version he recorded some 23 years prior with his band The Verve.  

BOOTS 

It’s perhaps (clearly) a sign of my age that I recognise only one person from the cast, the wonderful Adjoa Andoh and I’ve never even seen Bridgerton! I have a suspicion, were I younger, I might recognise some of the others, but I’m not and I don’t. Regardless, they’re all fabulous here, with the exception of the enormous geezer who drives the sleigh. 

Eve’s original recording of Who’s That Girl provides one of the least likely songs ever to soundtrack a Christmas ad, but it works very nicely.   

Interestingly, this spot has caused a stir among racists and far-right keyboard warriors who are calling for a Boots boycott because the ad is too diverse – featuring a black female lead and only one white, cis male who is portrayed as lazy. Perhaps the funniest thing I’ve read all year!  

SAINSBURY’S 

As is tradition this time of year, the supermarkets essentially jostle for top spot to claim the illustrious title of best grotesquely excessive food display. It’s enough to make you sick…. no really, you’d be very sick if you attempted to consume the volumes of food these commercials propose. It’s excessive at best, downright irresponsible at worst, no wonder we’re in the midst of an obesity crisis!  

Except for Sainsbury’s. Yes, the orange team have come at it from a mildly oblique angle using a metaphor in the shape of Roald Dahl’s BFG (Big Fucking Geezer?) and the tagline Go Big This Christmas! It’s a visual triumph and the score is handsome, richly cinematic and luscious in a 20th century style.  

TESCO 

Another visual and production triumph, another metaphor, this time the seemingly overwhelming emotional effects of broken gingerbread dreams and what that evokes for one man. It feels like a very personal story and while I see where the emotional coercing leads, I am not there. The reason why (not) probably says more about me than it does about the execution of the idea but I can’t help wondering if I’m the only one who doesn’t cry over broken familial gingerbread? 

Gorilaz’ Melancholy Hill is a strange choice of soundtrack, should have gone for Simply Red mate.  

M&S FOOD 

I never thought I’d tire of Dawn French… but maybe I have now. Spare her a thought though as this spot portrays her as someone who lives alone and has no friends. But because she’s a celebrity all her neighbours want to pop round and eat her out of house and home.  

My other take away from this advert is that Dawn French lives on the same street  

as Paddington Bear.  

The Elton John soundtrack is Step Into Christmas.  

M&S CLOTHING 

Christmas is supposed to be fun right? Seems M&S clothing is about the only brand who got the memo this year. While everyone else serves a varying mix of emotion, schmaltz, over complicated vegetable-based caper and heaving dining tables, M&S clothing airlifts us from the carrot twattery with this slice of pure magic.  

The idea is simple, the execution is brilliant, a technical masterpiece and totally engaging, it’s pure entertainment throughout. Begs the question why more Christmas ads aren’t this good? 

I believe In Miracles by The Jackson Sisters serves as a reminder to get the fuck down this Christmas!