Weekly Rewind: March 30

This week sucks when you're an advertising writer. Everything you're sent could be an April Fool's Day thing, and it drives you slowly insane. Is Burger King toothpaste real? No. Are Domino's pizza robots real? Yes.

At this point, I'm so paranoid, I'm not entirely sure my whole life isn't just a really long game April Fool's Day prank, and come April 1 I'll be plunged back into the Matrix world I really live in. Until then, however, here are some news stories from this possibly fictional universe we're living in that caught our eye this week...

1. Elon Musk to Create Android Army (...Probably)

...probably. At the very least, as reported by The Verge, he has backed Neuralink, a company creating a brain-computer interface. But seeing as he is a billionaire with an
interest in fast cars and spaceships with a name like Elon Musk, he could be a Bond villain with evil android-based plans. Though this particular tech sounds more like a 90s Arnold Schwarzenegger plot.

2. Facebook Stories Launches

...and Facebook has really missed a trick by not calling it Storybook. If you like that idea, that'll be $1 billion, Mr Zuckerburg. For now, however, it's called Facebook Stories and, per the New York Times, it's basically Instagram Stories, which was basically Snapchat Stories. Expect pictures from your least favourite teenage cousin with a dog filter on very soon.

3. Spinach Leaf Becomes Human Heart

...this one's definitely a April Fool's joke, right? Apparently not, as KTLA report that Massachusetts scientists have created a beating heart muscle by replacing the plant cells in spinach for human ones. No-one tell Elon Musk as we'll have evil human clones before we know it. Possibly. Either that, or one day we will be able to grow hearts for particularly lifelike Halloween costumes heart transplants.

4. Dominos Droids to Deliver Pizza

OK, THIS ONE IS DEFINITELY APRIL FOOL'S, RIGHT? Wrong. Techcrunch has shown us the future of pizza delivery, and it's robots. What's worse is that this actually was their 2015 April 1 gag, and now it's real, and could be being trialled in Germany as early as this summer. Whether they will also make good on their 2014 joke of edible 'snackaging' packaging remains to be seen...

5. Tinder Does Desktop App

Do you know what definitely isn't a April Fools gag? My crippling loneliness. Luckily, Wired shared details of Tinder's new desktop app, in beta in select South American regions with US/UK launches due in autumn. Now you can swipe on Tinder on your computer whilst on Christian Mingle on your PC, JSwipe on your iPad, and Grindr on your smartphone at the same time. Just like God intended it.

6. Rebel Rebel's Real Estate on Sale for $6.5 Million

Got $6.5 million to spare and want to sleep in what was once David Bowie's panic room? Now you can with the news that the Thin White Duke's old apartment in New York is on sale. The apartment, which Bowie lived in throughout the 90s, also offers great Central Park views. Though Roling Stone reported that the panic room has been coverted back to a master bedroom, truly Bowie fans could always ch-ch-ch-ch-change it back...

7. Bob Dylan to Bring his Nobel Prize Back Home

How does it feeeeeeeellllll to have to head over to Stockholm to pick up your Nobel Prize? Bob Dylan is about to find out as he heads to Sweden for a tour date, and hopes to pick up his medal and diploma while he's there, as reported by Vulture. He has yet to deliver the lecture that will entitled him to the $900,000 prize money, however? Will he deliver it in time? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind...

8. More Fire from Samsung

In a moment of sad but ultimately hilarious cosmic coincidence far funnier than any April Fool's bit you'll see this year, a Samsung store in Singapore was incinerated the day before the an announcement of the Galaxy S8...you know, the phone that was supposed to be their comeback after the Note 7 kept catching on fire. Cnet reported that no one was injured, except Samsung's reputation. Again.

9. Denmark Say 'Farvel' to Uber (it's 'Goodbye' in Danish)

More backlash over at Uber as the company leaves Denmark after changes to taxi regulations. Bloomberg detailed how the company, who earlier in the year were boycotted after they tried to profit from the New York taxi driver's strike, were declared an illegal taxi service last year in the Danish high court, and are now leaving the country all together.

10.Air Pollution Becomes Art

You can now become the Picasso of pollution or the Kandinsky of carbon emissions with Kaalink, an exhuast attachment that captures soot which is then converted to ink. Mashable wrote this week about an art exhibition created using this ink, currently on display in London's Brixton area to coincide with 'London's bae' Sadiq Khan's new clean air initative.